Can You Read People’s Minds?

Photo of Pine Trees at our Lake House.

This is the view when I look up –

sitting on the front porch reading one of my favorite authors,

Malcolm Gladwell.

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Good Tuesday to you –

Remember my ‘friend’, Malcolm Gladwell, the genesis for Monday’s post?

I have a very personal story to share with you this morning.

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In a world of political correctness, we have diluted our ‘blink’ opinions to blend in with those around us. To gain peer acceptance, perhaps.

I am guilty of this – as you will read in the story below.

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Years ago, my husband and I attended an elegant party with ice sculptures and plenty of wait-staff to make every guest feel completely attended to and pampered.

Upon meeting a certain couple, I felt like something was terribly wrong. Without knowing, I made that ‘blink’ determination.

What didn’t add up for me? I couldn’t say. Was it “intuitive repulsion” to use Malcolm’s term? (Read about intuitive repulsion in the Introduction of blink:  The Statue that didn’t Look Right)

I just knew that this couple was not as advertised. Later on that week, when secretly confiding my concerns to a close confidante, I was scolded for my “unfounded criticism.”

“You’re paranoid.”

“So…you think you’re a mind reader, now?”

I felt ashamed and embarrassed. So, I convinced myself that my gut feeling was totally off-the-mark at best…insane at worse. So I kept my mouth shut.

Unfortunately, my ‘hunch’ was proven to be more than accurate. I wish I hadn’t been THAT RIGHT.

In due time, the revelation of their misdeeds was not a pretty sight. People were hurt.

So now the conversation turned to, “I never saw that coming.” “They gave us no indication.”

Or did they?

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Can I read minds? No.   Can you read minds? No.

But I do believe that all humans have the innate ability to ‘thin-slice’ data (using Malcolm’s vernacular) and make accurate assessments about people and situations at a glance.

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Our antennae has no need to be in full, heighten position for every person we meet in every social occasion.

But I am asking you to consider this:

When interviewing a builder for your new home… a major investment.

Considering a business partner for a joint venture… a long-term commitment.

Selecting a financial consultant to handle a lump sum retirement plan…a finite nest egg for your future security.

Or even looking for a family friend to go in halves on a vacation home…a possible multi-generational relationship.

 

Do you think it would it be helpful if you were more mindful of your instincts and ‘blink’ impressions?

I do believe the correct answer would be a resounding, Yes, indeed.

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I am certainly not advocating the public denouncement of anyone with slanderous claims just because your ‘blink-barometer’ sounded the alarm.

You don’t even have to share your thoughts.

But do listen to your mind and heart when the stakes are very high and the potential for loss is great.

Just proceed with caution and care when something quietly tells you – to do so.

If you would like to read – blink (The Power of Thinking Without Thinking)  by Malcolm Gladwell, here is a quick link to Amazon, one of the many stores where this book is available.