Success Stories – Part 3: The Secret Sauce for Success…for children!

 

If you are a regular reader, you recognize my sparkling, red Key-to-Success.

This is my standard symbol for my Success Stories Series.

(If you aren’t familiar with my two previous posts on Success Stories for adults, these articles are in the category of Sequencing: Cycles & Seasons of Life.)

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Do you want to know the recipe for…The Secret Sauce for Success?

If you are a parent or will be one in the future, I bet you have given great thought on how to raise a child who will grow up to be a successful adult.  I have studied this very topic extensively after my two boys were born.

Of course, there really isn’t a guaranteed-not-to-fail recipe for success.  You and I both know that for sure.

But guess what?

There is one secret and forgotten lesson that any parent can introduce, cultivate, and refine in a young child. Right Now.  Today.

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I fully realize that my message will not be very popular.  In fact, I can name friends and family who will roll their eyes and yawn, yawn, yawn… after reading this article.  But that’s just fine by me.  I have a strong conviction to write down my thoughts on this subject.

Ever since I began My Written Thoughts, I knew I would be writing this post.  After being a mom for 24+ years and a tutor for 14+ years, I have seen a drastic and dramatic decline in the most basic common manners in children.

Please, please know that I am not insinuating that children must attend cotillion, be invited to be a society debutante, or enroll in a local etiquette chapter of Miss Manners.  Not at all.   And, I am definitely not referring to the obnoxious “Eddie Haskell’s of-the-world” who blurt out empty flattering remarks which are completely nauseating.

I am talking about children exhibiting rudimentary respect and graciousness toward adults.  Period.

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Just last month, I, unfortunately, heard a couple of children address adults as if they were peers….and in some instances, as their intolerable, idiot subordinates.

But the most disturbing part of this behavior was the response of the nearby parents who made excuses for their children… or worse, yet, blamed the adult who was the recipient of the inappropriate remarks.

Over the past few months when I was researching material for this post, I wrote down just a few ‘excuses’ offered by parents for their child’s poor manners.

And as preposterous as these responses sound, they are, indeed, real explanations for their children’s lack of couth.

“My child has a sore throat.”  (Okay.  But does that cause words to be caustic?)

“You have to be patient with children: they don’t understand what they’re doing wrong.”   (This parents has 2 children in elementary school.)

“If you had children, you’d understand.”  (Data Point:  I do have children. And I still don’t understand.)

“I’m going to save my discipline and correction for when my kids are teenagers when sex and drugs are a threat.”  ( Really?  This child is in lower-elementary school! No discipline until then?)

“He’s a boy.  And you know boys.”  (I have boys.  Two of them.  And that is not a viable excuse for such behavior.)

Here’s my take on the above absurdities.  First and foremost, bad behavior is not more prevalent in one gender… and it transcends all socioeconomic levels and demographic locales.   

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No doubt – well-mannered children are set up to be more successful than their sharp-tongued peers.

Think about the common logic here.

Who has the advantage?

A well-mannered, poised applicant for college admission?  A polite interviewee in front of a scholarship panel of judges? How about a polished candidate for a corporate job fresh out of college?

On and On and On…throughout life, manners trump rudeness in every situation when the stakes are high.

And know this…a teenager who awkwardly and unnaturally delivers all the right words during that interview or in front of a committee – who has never before adopted a genteel or ladylike personality – could possibly appear as disingenuous and deceitful.

Human resource executives and high-level academic panels are trained and skilled at spotting fakes and frauds.  Their area of expertise includes assessing authenticity and organic behavior.

Simply said….MANNERS matter.

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I know some of my friends and relatives clicked off long ago.

But you are still here.

And minding my manners, I must shout out a big – Thank you!