The Doormat ~ Are you a Doormat? I was.

My Doormat

As you well know, my Friday posts are short and sweet and inspirational (hopefully).

Let’s have a private conversation this morning.  Shall we?

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As far back as I can remember, I have suffered from…

The Disease to Please.

When I was a little girl, I did not aspire to become an accomplished doormat.  But looking back on my life, I can definitely understand why and how I developed the need to be a people-pleaser.

And in my later years, I think it is safe to say that I graduated with a Latin degree in

Classical Wimpus Maximus.

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So how did I overcome this affliction?

Just in case you suffer from these shortcomings, I’d like to share a few thoughts which helped me overcome my doormatitis.

Over the years, I’ve read numerous articles on this topic.  I wanted to stop agreeing and nodding and smiling like a giant bobble-head when actually I was feeling the exact opposite deep down inside.

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As I have said more times than I can remember, if something works well for me, I am going to share it with you.

And the inspirational message this morning is:  No matter how entrenched you are as a people-pleaser, there are easy changes to extinguish your doormat behavior and never have footprints on your face again.

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My thoughts are not clinically based on scientific or medical or psychological research.

The following conclusions were compiled and condensed using a composite of all articles I’ve read on this subject.

1.  The old ‘doormat’ response is a quick and immediate – YES, Absolutely, No Problem.  Next time someone asks a favor, answer with a kind and sincere, “I’d like to give that some thought.  I’ll get back to you with my answer as soon as I check my calendar.”

2.  And speaking of consistently acquiescing to every need of everyone without regard to your own authentic feelings, practice sharing your opinions without BAR – bitterness, anger or resentment. (Remember my Friday Inspirational post in May called:  Should you lower your bar?)  Think of casually and quietly sharing your thoughts – not stating a hard and fast opinion with a lot of high emotion and confrontation.

3.  Consciously educate others how you should be treated.  We determine what level of rudeness and disrespect we will accept and tolerate.  And you know what?  If you set the boundaries, people in your inner- circle will either oblige or leave.  And quite honestly, this is how you know who your authentic friends really are anyway.

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So why this topic?  Why today?

Well, I recently had to put into motion #3 – in a big way.

The situation was not pleasant nor pretty.

Not long ago, there was a strong-willed individual whose requests and demands became escalated and more obnoxious as time went on.  And at one point, I sincerely felt like it was not a friendly visit – but an obvious test of how much guff and ridiculousness I would accept and absorb.

There came a time when enough was truly enough, and I had to set definitive and unwavering boundaries for their behavior.

And it worked.  This individual retreated and left.  Perhaps, forever.  I don’t know.  I hope not.

But what I do know is this….I love this person without exception and have not an ounce of hard feelings.  And had I not taken a firm stance and silently continued to take the verbal abuse and nonsense, I would still resent their behavior at this moment.

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Here’s my wish for you this day.

First, I hope you never battle the trap of Doormatitis.

And secondly, if you do….I hope this post helped you in some small way.

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Always grateful for your readership.

Be safe and be well, Friend.

Happy Fourth of July Weekend!

Talk to you on Monday.  I have some great thoughts about next week’s topics.