The Mompetitor. Know one?

Weapons of Choice… for the Mompetitor

Good Morning, Moms and Dads.

We are all enormously proud of our kids.

Aren’t we?

And we like to talk about the comings and goings of our beloved offspring.

Who hasn’t chimed-in and shared the most recent academic and athletic achievements when attending a neighborhood gathering?

Guilty as charged.

We have all been to a ladies luncheon where there is a playful give-and-take conversation about the current status of our children.

Hey – I am genuinely interested in knowing what my friends’ and neighbors’ children are doing.

Going to college? Getting married? Starting a family? Getting transferred? Buying that first house?

I love to hear about the good fortune of young adults.

But I ain’t talkin’ about that kind of conversation.

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You know her. And I know her.

We both know THAT MOM.

The kind of parent who goes beyond the boundaries of bragging and boasting.

Make no mistake…

Mompetitors are completely different in their motive… than the average, happy mother sharing news about her child.

The Mompetitor has a mission to make you feel ‘less than’, inadequate, and darn near negligent in your mothering skills.

And if that wasn’t enough to digest, the Mompetitor will do anything and say everything to promote their kid over yours.

A double whammy.

After having a Mompetitor attack, you might walk away feeling like a poor excuse of a mom….and like your child just doesn’t measure up.

Well, I’m here to tell you this: DON’T.

Don’t you dare allow her words to permeate your thoughts for one nano-second.

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So why should I take the time to write an article on Mompetitors?

Because I am a Mompetitor Magnet.

And I’m not bragging….I’m complaining.

The Mistress of One-Upmanship seems to migrate toward me….no matter how innocent or neutral the environment.

For Real.

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Welcome to the Wide Wild World of Mompetition

I had such an ‘eventful’ pregnancy. That’s a nice word for a high-risk pregnancy which caused me to live in a hospital from January – March before my first child was born. I had an emergency C-section weeks before my due date to safely deliver my sweet son.

The Mompetitor’s response was to the point… she was so, so sorry for my troubles, but she had a ‘drive-through’ delivery with a hospital stay less than 24 hours in duration…didn’t even get her hospital gown wrinkled…and “what a tragedy and shame that I missed the joy of REAL Childbirth”.

Okay. Thanks for that.

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Breast-feeding. Potty Training. Crawling-to-Walking. Every single milestone was the perfect storm for mompetition. I was so sure the sightings of these unique mothers would subside after toddlerhood. But no. Wrong.

These Moms were just getting their engines started.

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First to know the ABC’s. First to read. First to ride a 2-wheel bike without training wheels. First to get accepted into Gifted & Talented Programs. First to swim. On and on… it went.

And again, I naively thought the season of insanity was coming to a close.

How utterly mistaken could I have been?

High School was High Season for these women.

It was all about YOUR kid versus THEIR bigger, brighter and better kid.

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A Montage of Mompetitor Madness

I remember “The Macy’s Department Store Mom” who recounted her son’s SAT scores….2 years after he graduated from high school…in the middle of the Ralph Lauren Section of the store.  (And we weren’t even talking about the SAT.)

And how could I forget “The HEB Grocery Store Mom” who (in her loudest voice) had to inform everyone within earshot that her son landed a coveted summer internship…he was 1 out of 500 gazillion applying…and this exchange was next to a vegetable display.

And there are dozens and dozens of other stories that just might be written in my Mompetitors 2.0.

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Okay.  In the mind of a true-blue Mompetitor….

The Large Baseball Trophy belongs to HER son.

The Barely-can-see-it Trophy in front…. is YOUR son’s award.

The most obnoxious and nauseating antics of these overly competitive moms appeared en masse during our many years of baseball.

Grown women combatively comparing – playing time, batting averages and strike-outs/walk ratios of their sons versus those other poor, pathetic players.

Baseball Mompetitors are in a special league of their own.

And they deserve a private post…at a much later date.

I believe Mompetitor 3.0 may be a very easy article to write.

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During your next Close Encounters with the Mompetitor-Kind, you won’t get mad or irritated… you’ll just smile and think about writing to my blog telling me your story!

Just Kidding.

I live in an area where the ratio of Mompetitors to the General Population is extremely high.

In fact, we might statistically lead the world – per capita.

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The serious take-a-way today.

Who’s the perfect mom for your kids?

You are.

As I am the perfect mom for mine.

We all need to realize that being a mom is a team sport….not an individual competition.

When moms realize that we all wear the same uniform…and thus, we need to be edifying and encouraging each other every chance we get.

When we understand that we belong to a sacred sisterhood and honorary sorority of the highest order…

Then and only then – will the Mompetiton end.