What can Sheryl Sandberg teach you & me?

 During the most difficult days of my life, there were 5 people/ things that enabled me to get to the other side of the mountain.

Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In, was one of those things.

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Who is Sheryl Sandberg?

She is the Chief Operating Officer at Facebook…and formerly the Vice President of Online Sales and Operations at Google…and if that was not a stout enough resume’, she was Chief of Staff at the United States Treasury Department.

 

Is this book worth your time reading? Or worth giving to your daughter?

I believe those questions deserve a resounding: YES & YES.

Of course, this book and its author have no shortage of detractors.

There are bloggers and reporters who question Sheryl’s underlying message in her book, Lean In, because of her economic status.

Her critics raise concerns that Sheryl may have the luxury of nannies and cooks and chauffeurs which allow her to ‘lean in and lead’ in the corporate world while having a quality home life.

And my retort to all of this noise and distraction is simply this:

Read the book.

Incorporate the power and wisdom from the words into your life.

And then, be enormously grateful Sheryl Sandberg took the time to write this book for you and me to read.

I do not have a cook, nanny, or chauffeur. And I found her book a blessing.

 

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So how do I choose the best passages from a great book with 172 pages (182 pages counting the Acknowledgements)?

Here is my humble attempt to point out special text which I hope you will find as meaningful as I did.

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As I wrote in my “When do you lower your Bar” post on May 15^th, I experienced betrayal from my personal ‘allies’ and my close ‘friends’.

It blindsided me.

I never really cried during the day, but I did cry at night.

And I felt so weak for having done so.

But reading the following words gave me permission to be human and not be ashamed.

“…on those rare occasions when I have felt really frustrated or worse, betrayed, tears have filled my eyes. Even as I have gotten older and more experienced, it still happens every so often.”

Arianna Huffington founder of the Huffington Post advice: “…we should let ourselves react emotionally and feel whatever anger or sadness being criticized evokes for us. And then we should quickly move on.”

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My life turned upside down and continued to stay in that position for years without any hint of when things would return to ‘normal’.

And worse, I felt powerless and scared…until I read the words which changed my perspective immediately.

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”

“But feeling confident – or pretending that you feel confident – is necessary to reach for opportunities.”

“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” – (Printed on poster at Facebook’s offices.)

After reading Lean In, I placed this saying on my office bulletin board.

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I am a card-carrying member of the Disease-to-Please Club. A charter member.

This personality trait has caused me a lot of shame because I thought I was the only grown woman who suffered from this syndrome until I read these wise words.

Mark Zuckerberg’s advice (who is CEO & Founder of Facebook): “One of the things he told me was that my desire to be liked by everyone would hold me back. He said that when you want to change things, you can’t please everyone. If you do please everyone, you aren’t making enough progress.

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Every person who knows me well, the people in my small circle, understand one key fact about me. I am Risk-Adverse.

My low-risk tolerance influences about every move I make daily.

And after I applied the text below to my situation, I learned to embrace the uncertainty of the past few years.

“In my personal life, I am not someone who embraces uncertainty. I like things to be in order. I file documents in colored folders (yes, still) and my enthusiasm for reorganizing my closet continually baffles Dave. But in my professional life, I have learned to accept uncertainty and even embrace it.”

 

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Extracting a handful of sentences in a book of this magnitude probably does not do it justice. But I sincerely tried.

The collection of chapters as a whole – and the paragraphs surrounding these small passages – give Sheryl Sandberg’s words deep meaning.

And yes, if I had a daughter…I would have given her this book for high school graduation.

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As always, I will continue to present books, ideas, thoughts, items, etc… that helped me…so they can help you.

And you will want to return tomorrow…

To learn about Carly Fiorina’s Tough Choices.

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If you are interested in purchasing a copy for your book collection or as a gift, click here. Amazon is one of the many stores where this book is available.