KonMari Your Relationships! – There’s a Clean-Up on the People Aisle

I just know it.

I’m going to hear some pushback and blowback…..in a big way for attempting to add to a nearly perfect system of tidying. But I have Americanized KonMari for this new year.

With regards to my previous post about adding 2 more categories to the internationally famous KonMari method of tidying, I sincerely believe that along with tidying up Health and Body, many of us need to tidy up our relationships.

As Marie Kondo states – tidying your home will automatically tidy other areas like relationships and health, but I want to officially make those a category!

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Before we begin today’s article – Just a quick update on The Blue Zone Challenge. It is most definitely a CHALLENGE.

Full-on-confession here….I have only eaten beef 3 times since New Year’s Day! This is an enormously big deal in my dietary consumption.

But I must admit – I eat chicken at least 3 times per week.

…and I have struggled (but managed to abide) with the 3-per-week egg limitation. Yes, there were weeks I went over, but mostly – I have been quite disciplined.

And, I have enjoyed lean pork which is okay in some Blue Zone cultures.

The true Blue Zone Challenge encourages full-on plant-based food choices. I did not accomplish that challenge. But I did transform my eating habits to a 75% vegetarian, non-processed foods diet. And for that, I am extremely grateful to the Blue Zone.

In addition to The Blue Zone Challenge, I have added 4 activities to my daily practice. And, I’ll write about those in my next post. So come back with your hot tea or cuppa coffee and be ready to read about my new routine…..it’s helped me, so I need to share it with you.

I know you’re tired of reading this – but it is SUPER important to always check with your doctor before making health decisions of any kind involving diet & exercise.

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So for today’s post on P-E-O-P-L-E.

Yes, indeed, there is a clean-up on my ‘People’ aisle.

This is a very, very, very messy area of my life. And, I am determined to edit and straighten up this category in 2022.

For decades, I have been a people-pleasing person. To the point that I make myself sick.

I suspect I am hard-wire to be non-confrontational. I just can’t figure it out.

Certainly not proud to be a card-carrying member of the Doormat Society. Perhaps, I’m an officer of that club and don’t even realize it.

But here’s the thing in 2022…. Without an ounce of resentment or harboring a single grudge, I refuse to spend my valuable time with people – who in my past – made me feel ashamed or embarrassed or less than valued.

No more defending my parenting skills.

No more will I be pulled me into some sort of sicko competitive conversation about vacation destinations…

…..or about the grandiosity of lifestyles…

…..or about THIS OR THAT.

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Loving a relative is one thing. Spending time with that said relative is another.

This year, I realized I can love and genuinely pray for a relative without subjecting myself to their habitual and ever-increasing toxicity.

I have a relative who pits relatives against one another. A person who sabotages Every Single Family Reunion with hatefulness and negative energy. A family member who lectures us on the difference between just a ‘vacation’ (ex: Europe) and a REAL ‘adventure’ [pronounced advencha] (ex: The Amazon – not the Prime One which delivers packages and livestreams movies!). Queue the Alka Seltzer, please. I need to throw-up. Now.

Soooooo Stick a fork in it…..because I’m done.

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This rule will not only be applied to my beloved family members…but to lifetime friends, as well.

For decades, I have been agreeable to the detriment of my own self-esteem. And that’s totally on me. No one forced me to eat what they were serving.

In the friends category, I have an extremely dear girlfriend who feels free to raise her voice at me. Literally, yell at me if we disagree. It’s both alarming when she does it ….and it’s equally humiliating.

For decades, I have summarily dismissed it as just “her personality”. And, that’s how I’ve dealt with it. It very well may be her learned behavior. But it’s disrespectful and ill-placed in a close friendship.

Recently she confronted me about something that bothered her about MY personality. (I didn’t return her text message.)

I took that opportunity to lovingly discuss her severely strong personality. With compassion, I explained that – for decades – she was only interested in her wants and her wishes. Her restaurants. Her timing to get together. Her this. Her that. And even though I have no idea if my message was heard, I cleaned up the mess on that aisle which had been a disaster for decades.

Do I love her less? Nope. I probably love her more now that I set boundaries for the future.

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We shall see how this plays out in 2022. It goes without saying, I was proud that I found the courage to confront.

Do I want to speak up? Heck no. I almost broke out in hives.

I really just want peace, harmony, and kum-bah-ya. ya’ll!

I genuinely love my relatives – even the ones who school me on a new kind of Amazon. And I will love my friend until the end of time…..but my love and affection for the people in my life doesn’t mean that I need to remain an active member of the Doormat Society…..

Well, at least not hold a high office in that club in 2022.

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I’m sending friendship and positivity out to all the readers this year. Thank you for reading. Come back, and we’ll discuss my 4 new add-ons to my daily routine. Hope you’ll find it helpful in your life, too.